Female Privilege is Real and Must Be Stopped

 A Comedy Satire by Epicdelusion. 


Women in our society do not see their privilege. Women have all the power and they do not intend to share any of it. They continue onward in their supremacy almost unchallenged. It is our duty to END Female Privilege! For those of you who say that there is no female privilege, your deluded bubble is about to be burst.

Hello, Woman. Let me explain to you how you are so privileged in our society. The oppressors rarely see that they are oppressors. Evil always thinks it is doing good. Hopefully you’re one of the few who can see just how important it is to end female privilege.

You can freely walk down the street without being seen as a criminal. People do not cross the street to avoid you because they think you’re about to attack them. You are welcome to initiate conversation with passerby without being perceived as a sexual predator or a creepy pervert.

You are able to ask for assistance from both men and women without being feared for having ulterior motives. You are able to talk to or help lost children without arousing the contempt and suspicion of the neighborhood and local police.

You are able to leave your house late at night without being the subject of fearful residents wanting to protect their children and property. You are able to walk at night without instilling fear and having the cops called on you to question your motives.

You can look at a man or a woman at the gym without being considered a sexual deviant. If there is an emergency, you can use the men’s bathroom without being considered a pervert. You can take your young children into any restroom you want and not be targeted as a child molester.

You can flirt with any man that you want or ask him out on a date without it being considered harassment or sexual assault. You are free to have sex while drunk without your male partners regret costing you jail time or loss of tuition/career.

You have the sovereignty to laugh at men for being sexually harassed without fear of societal reprisal or social backlash. You are free to presume a man always wants sex from you. You are free to presume that you cannot commit sexual assault.

Society comforts you if you are abused while it castigates and mocks your victims if you abuse. You also have the power to ruin relationships, jobs, careers, reputations, and even cost men their freedom, safety and lives by falsely accusing them of rape.


You have the luxury to be seen as a role model for being money driven and successful. You have the luxury to be seen on television as an articulate, sensible, intelligent individual rather than a fat, moronic,clumsy slob. You are celebrated for ridiculing men, mentally tormenting them, and body shaming them without consequence.

You have the luxury of always being the first to be rescued in an emergency situation after children. You can leave a man dying in the street to save yourself and not be seen as an incongruous monster. You are allowed to show weakness, mistake, folly, and fear without being considered less of a woman. You are allowed to cry and show emotion without being considered less of a woman.

You can be a humanitarian or a vegetarian without being considered weak and pitiful. You have the fortune of being presumed innocent in every case where the police may be involved, even if you are the attacker. You always have society’s sympathy on your side no matter how wrong you are.

It is wrong for a man to hit you even if you hit him first, it is wrong if a cop slams you to the ground after you commit a crime, and no one is allowed to curse at you or raise their voice to you in anger.

You are even encouraged by society to cry your way out of trouble such as a speeding ticket or traffic violation.

Police, Employers and Judges all show you considerable mercy and often exemption from crime. You are given shorter sentences and softer punishments for the rare occurrence of a conviction. You also are treated much better in correctional facilities to which you seldom populate.

You have the ability to start a business or follow a career path without risking your life from workplace injuries and death. The government will even give you special tax breaks simply for being a woman starting her own business. You are not expected to explain gaps in employment. You are more likely to be hired with less experience. You are more likely to be given easier assignments and less hours for the same pay.

You are less likely to be unemployed or homeless. You are provided with safer and cleaner working facilities, bathrooms, offices, and healthcare facilities. You are 93% less likely to be injured at work, 97% less likely to be killed in war, 80% less likely to commit suicide, and 76% less likely to be murdered.

You are encouraged emotionally since birth while given extra credit and decreased quotas. You have access to cheaper healthcare, and you are statistically healthier and live longer. Society dedicates its resources to fighting breast cancer while men die of prostate cancer without a note of resistance.

You are more likely to be admitted to ivy league schools, and you have more scholarships available to you. You are given preference in the classroom and are far less likely to drop out of high school and college. You are also less likely to be depressed or suffer from PTSD or mental illness.

You are the presumed primary care giver in the household. You have the freedom to get divorced and keep your children. You are 84% more likely to win custody of your children. You are favored in courtrooms in civil suits. Bias in alimony and child support cases favor you.

It is illegal for a man to force a woman to get an abortion. It is legal for a woman to get an abortion without the consent of a man. It is illegal to circumcise women. It is illegal to draft women into selective service. You have the White House Woman and Girls Council. You are seen as relevant and not obsolete. The list goes on and on.

We must unite and end this oppression!

With the PC crowd constantly whining about privilege, it’s hard to follow where they keep arbitrarily moving the goal posts. The sheer subjectivity of the matter means that anybody anywhere can see privilege and attack it any time that they want, as this satire eloquently reveals.

The reality is that all people live by advantages and disadvantages, and its largely senseless to compete with who has it worse and who has it better because of their gender. In other words, there is really no such thing as racial or gender privilege. Individualism is all that really matters. As soon as society forfeits the ludicrous notion of gender or racial superiority/inferiority, real mental freedom can begin to flourish.

Now that you have seen how easy it is to create the boogeyman of privilege, maybe we can move along and get back to reality. If you are obsessed enough with anything, you can see what you want, because the mind always sees what the mind wants to see.

Libertarian Tees